Be Self-Empowered
Self empowerment is the belief, self-efficacy, and ability to be able to make things and changes happen, or to make a sufficient effort to do so, without being emotionally dependent on the results, although usually being able to achieve success as a result of your belief in yourself! I believe that the biggest blessing God (and my mom) has given me is a disposition of self-empowerment, although I was also given many challenges and insecurites that I've had to overcome using this self-empowerment! As a result, I have seen many changes and improvements in myself over the course of my life, and hopefully many more because the journey never ends. Before I discuss how to be self-empowered to change, I feel compelled to share the story of two friends.
My best friend in the world and I are alike in many ways, least we used to be. We have many of the same strengths: being endowed in both artistic as well as academic left-brained abilities, ambitious, and relatively attractive. When we met in 9th grade, we also shared many shortcomings: lonely, extremely shy, quiet, insecure, self-conscious, needy, and desperate. Growing up, we faced the same difficulties and challenges. We were so close and inseparable that some people even said that we looked like twins, although one of us is black and the other white. The only thing that really made us different, besides our ethnic and economic backgrounds (her parents were Benz-driving entrepreneurs and mine were low-middle class recent-immigrants), was that I always had a sense of self-empowerment while she always felt helpless about her circumstances. Since the time we met, however, I feel that we have become as different as night and day because of this mindset. I believe that I have made huge strides in my happiness and spiritual life, while she has just maintained and gotten by spiritually, occasionally takes small steps forward, and occasionally having depressive and suicidal episodes. We have grown so far apart in terms of self esteem that I don't think she even remembers just how much we are alike we used to be. These differences grew as a result of the time I spent on my spiritual journey, feeling empowered and seeking to make positive changes, while she has spent her life sulking in self-pity, helplessness, and a slew of other negative emotions. I've spent countless hours trying to help and mentor her, but the results have been minimal and occasionally led to her increasing dependency on attention and seeking pity from me instead of becoming self-sufficient. She has been doing a lot better lately, having gained independence from her dead-beat husband and figuring out what she wants in life. She has also met a wonderful guy (who I set her up with :) and seems to be rather happy with him. But she still has a long way to go to come out of her shell and overcoming the helpless mentality, which seems to be out of her reach as she is still self-defeating and scared to take any risks. While my best friend merely wishes she could overcome her fears and anxieties and is content to just say "I can't", I make a point of conquering them head on.
As I mentioned early, I have had to overcome many insecurities in my life, having come from a very critical and emotionally-unsupportive family. But one thing that I took away from this experience was being self-responsible and accountable to myself for my own life. I have realized that I am not content with believing that I'm not good enough or will never succeed in any area of life. Sometimes the hardest step is just realizing that you don't have to own or be a slave to particular insecurities, and realizing that you have control over every single aspect of your life and happiness. The methods that I have used to overcome my insecurities are the following:
1. Deciding what I want (results) and then determining that I can achieve anything with the right attitude and effort
2. conscious observations of myself and objectively trying to figure out what I could improve to get the results I want
3. reading self-help books on the topic of interest and doing research
4. listening to hypnosis recordings and even writing my own self-empowering scripts and affirmations
5. keeping a journal to monitor and evaluate my progress.
6. when I'm out in the real world and away from journals and self-help books, actively listening to my own inner thoughts to make sure they are encouraging rather than self-defeating and discouraging
These steps are more clearly outline in detail on the Self-Help Strategies page.
As you can see, if you really want to change something about yourself, you just have to face the issue head-on instead of accepting defeat in a passive manner. Many times you don't even realize that you have accepted defeat because your belief about your shortcomings seems to be an absolute truth rather than something within your power. But If you actively seek to improve any situation or circumstance, you can make a differece, but it takes will and effort and patience. Cliche but true, if there's a will, there's a way. This saying also applies to overcoming insecurites and challenges in life!
In most of the topics on this website, you will find my own personal accounts of how I overcame the various challenges that I write about. Because let's face it, how can I advise you on for example, overcoming bad eating habits in insecurities about your weight if I've never experienced them myself! You will find that I usually solve/overcome my problems by using the above steps. I hope these will be helpful and inspirational to you!
note: As you can see, this site is lightly supported by banner advertisements and internal links to affiliate websites. However, if you have enjoyed or benefited from my work, please help support my time and effort directly by clicking on the secure PayPal link below and donating to the site. Although I write this contect out of the goodness of my heart as well as to improve myself (see "About Me" page), it takes much valuable time, thought, and sacrifice to do so. Thank you in advance for your support! Self-Help Coach